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President Kimball advises us, ". A kiss is an evidence of love, not an evidence of lustbutit can be. Now remember these things. This type of conduct is far too intimate and is extremely suggestive. A French kiss is the "Hollywood" kiss that President Kimball described above. Especially in the high school years, parking in an automobile has been the down fall of many choice young people.
This is especially true of college age members who have their own apartments. If you are in a home or apartment with others and they slowly all leave except for you and your partner, then ONE OF YOU should leave at that time also! Do not let a bedroom become a familiar place to be with members of the opposite sex.
Becoming too familiar with each other physically offers liberties NOT entitled to single couples, and is wrong. Back rubs hove too often led to more intimate acts. When you go on a picnic. This is absolutely wrong. And, this advise applies to all young people - especially engaged couples. President Kimball advises us that, " danger spots likely to have most appeal among the youth, and which should be shunned as one would shun a poisonous serpent, are undesirable movies and improper TV programs.
You cannot go to a movie or to any entertainment which portrays sexual, violent or verbal pornographic material, as domost movies today, and not be affected and spiritually hurt. It affects you whether you like it or not! We should avoid drive-in movies for dates. President Kimball, in talking of drive-in movies, said the following: With outward appearances of decency and respectability, with an absence of holy immoral acts - acts which would at least be much less likely in the living room or in the formal theater on Main Street.
Now, please never go to bars - even just to dance or listen to the music. If you frequent bars, you will fall into serious transgressions. You would be horrified to observe the Satanic, evil atmosphere at the Rock Concerts some of our young people are attending. Talk to the parents, so you know it will be. There are too many parties where parents are upstairs watching TV while the young people are in a dark basement dancing and making out in the corners! When your children leave your home, you should always know where they are going, who they will be with, where you can contact them if necessary, and when you can expect them back!
Dress that is modest and becoming an LDS young man or young lady is most important at all times and is most important when dating. Girls, immodest clothing includes two-piece swimming suits or ones with low necklines and french-cut sides, halter tops, short shorts, tight-fitting clothes, short skirts, low necklines, etc. Boys, keep your shirts on and buttonedup! Even some fathers encourage it. I wonder if our sisters realize the temptation they are flaunting before men whenthey leave their bodies partly uncovered or dress in tight-fitting, body-revealing, form-fitting sweaters We cannot overemphasize immodesty as one of the pitfalls to be avoided if we would shun temptation and keep ourselves clean.
ALL looked well in the mirror as they stood there with shoulders back and standing up straight.
Make sure all of your clothing is modest for all occasions. One of the most disappointing times I had as a Bishop was when I took the ward members swimming and saw the immodest suits the girls wore.
After that occasion, I had to announce for the girls to wear a T-shirt over their suits at future ward parties. Girls, as hard as it may be, search until you can find a modest swimming suit or make your own!
The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. Even after the age of 18, it is desirable to date in couples or groups. Dating in groups is not only safer, but you will find that it is much more enjoyable. You will also get to know things about your date that you could not find out any other way because with more people, there is naturally more conversation.
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As we get older, we tend to think that we are "above" group dating. This is a serious error. Do not make single dating the largest portion of your dating. Sometimes when we start to like someone quite a bit, we tend to single date almost exclusively.
The Liberal Mormon That Could: Standards for Celestial Dating,
We should be in from our dates by Most proper functions will end in time for you to go straight home and be in on time. Do not make it a habit to be out late or up late for that matter. Not all moral problems occur late at night, but many, many do! When we are tired and have become more relaxed with each other through the evening, it is very easy to let down our guard.
Resistance seems to be lower at night, so make it a habit to be in early from your dates. You both should be at your respective homes at this time. You would be shocked to know the number of your young people that I have talked to that lost their virtue in their own front room, or family room, or bedroom, while their parents were home, but asleep in their own bedroom or in another part of the house.
This is a great time to talk with them and to sense how the evening went. They could never come home with alcohol or other substance on their breath without your knowing, if you waited up for them.
Also, when the young people are at your home, chaperone them. Dating is a two-way arrangement. You are each responsible for your own actions. Never allow another person to control your actions. Never say to yourself, "this young man or woman is so good that they could never do anything wrong. Whatever they would do would be okay.
Know exactly what you are going to do on a date before you go. To go on a date without a plan may sound harmless, or even exciting, but it can lead to trouble very easily.
As you date, especially with those you really like, discuss these rules and your standards so that you each understand what you expect from yourself and your relationship with each other. Set the stops now while your minds are clear and unhampered by emotions.
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It is virtually impossible to set them in the middle of a passion-filled night. Never let your standards relax. If you want the help of the Lord and his blessings, follow his counsel. To think that it could never happen to you is a major error of gigantic proportions. It can happen to you, to Bishops, to stake Presidents or anyone who places themselves in such a position.
Rules are for everyone. What you're about to read and there's more makes me think: My own thoughts are in blue. President Kimball went on to counsel us that beginning the dating process too soon almost always brings on young immature marriages or immorality and sin.
I think all the sexual repression does this. This also assumes there are no immature marriages if a person follows the Church's prescribed formula. I can say from personal experience this is patently untrue: Many marriages still surivive, but this doesn't mean marrying quickly is always the answer. They also become parents before they are truly ready regarding finances and maturity levels.
Do they survive despite? But this isn't always the right answer. It is an excellent idea to always double or group date until at least the age of What of that year between ? I mean, if a young boy is readying to go on his mission, wouldn't Satan be extra vigilant in getting that young man to give into sexual desires? Or wouldn't Satan, as he did in the Garden, tempt young Eve to get Adam to do something that would keep him from his mission? Be on your haunches, young men!
I know plenty of couples who have ignored this bit of counsel. They're the ones who get married two weeks after he returns home. He would not ask us to go against both His counsel throughout the ages or against the counsel of His prophets. President Kimball told us "Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating DO NOT take the chance of dating non-members, or members who are untrained and faithless.
The Lord does not instruct us to do missionary work one-on-one with members of the opposite sex" well, hell, I had an fresh RM teaching me about the gospel before i dared speak with the missionaries. I am not talking about the serious sin of "petting" but the lengthy make-out sessions that many feel are "okay" as long as you do not let it get too far.
President Kimball taught us, "Among the most common sexual sins our young people commit are necking and petting. Not only do these improper relations often lead to fornication, pregnancy, and abortions - all ugly sins - but in and of themselves they are pernicious evils I'm not saying there isn't a proper time in a dating relationship to kiss.
There IS a proper time and place. President Kimball advised us, '"Kissing would be saved at last until these later hallowed courtship days when they could be free from sex and have holy meaning--' i can only assume "these later hallowed courtship days" means after one returns from a mission and is "steady dating" "--In an address delivered to returned missionaries not high school age peoplePresident Kimball say '"A kiss is an evidence of affection.
A kiss is an evidence of love, not an evidence of lust--but it can be. Don't ever let a kiss in your courship [sic] spell lust. Necking and petting are lustful; they are NOT love I don't mind your kissing each other after you have had several dates; but not the "Hollywood kiss," not the kiss of passion, but the kiss of affection and there won't be any trouble.
This type of conduct is far too intimate and is suggestive of the sex act itself. A French kiss does not meet the standards President Kimball described above. President Kimball stated that '