23 Philippines Dating Culture - Traditions and Customs - motorrijder.info
The Filipino people is rich in customs and traditions. Many of these are in connection with their family life such as DATING, MARRIAGE and BURIAL, RELIGIOUS. Culture of The Philippines - history, people, clothing, traditions, women, beliefs others and use full titles and full names when introducing or referring to people. Filipino dating culture may be in sync with the rest of humanity in the beginning stages of dating and courtship only perhaps a little Filipino Dating: Pamalae- Filipino Way of “Meeting the Parents” It is one of the traditions I so much admire .
He'd come, sit down, and eat silently. She'd be bustling in the kitchen -- checking the food a-cooking on the stoves, the setting of their huge family table, the gradual filling up of the dining room with people, food, and the drinks and sweets which were on another table ready for serving. During all this she would check on Apo Sinti -- saw to his glass of iced water which had to be replenished always, and the banana which was his preferred fruit.
They did not speak with each other.
23 Philippines Dating Culture – Traditions and Customs
He ate all that was served him. She knew exactly how much rice he ate and what viands he preferred and how much of these he consumed. Then as silently as he came in, he'd leave. Apo La Paz would then call one of the maids to clean the table and place it in one corner of the kitchen. One Sunday morning, Apo Sinti staggered to a traysikad, a bicycle with a side car, even before the mass ended in our one Catholic Church proximate to the town plaza.
He didn't make it back to their house. He had a heart attack. Apo La Paz cried, but she didn't wail. She saw to all the funeral arrangements.
She was the overseer of the wake. After the funeral she retired to her room. She had to be called for the family meals. She receded into silence. After a month, she died. The second story, has to do with the old couple across our house. I don't remember their names. They were a very quiet, self-contained husband-and-wife. They married late, it seems.
Their only child was a loquacious tall male who since childhood manifested strong signs of effeminateness. The son was away for high school. And then a terribly extended medical schooling. They didn't seem to mind. The old man hardly went out of the house. The old woman we hardly saw. All that I remember of them is her standing around as he watered the many plants their son loved.
Courtship in the Philippines - Wikipedia
Their yard was a veritable garden. Every few days a young boy would sweep the yard. The old couple would be seated in their veranda. I have no recollection of their voices.
But they did talk with each other. I could see them from our own second-floor veranda. One day the old man fell ill. The young boy called my father, who was a medical doctor.
My father said it was serious. After three days he died.
The effeminate son came back and made quite a scene in his wailing and flailing about. He returned to his medical school after the funeral. We only got news of the old woman from the young boy who stayed with her. He was the son of one of their tenants. He said that she refused to go out of her room. He served her her meals there. After two weeks, she died. These two old couples remind me of a Guy de Maupassant short story. A hunter shot a bird. The other bird, its mate obviously, circled around it.
It refused to leave. It kept going around the spot where the first bird fell. Gradually it went down, still moving in circles. It was as if it wanted to be shot, too. The hunter aimed at it and killed it. They remind me, too, of an old Indian myth. In the beginning, Man and Woman were one. Somehow they got separated. The Man went to the right. The Woman went to the left. They had been looking for each other since then.
Love or, I suppose, marriage in the myth is the discovery of our other half. The Man and the Woman become one again. We go through life looking for our other half, that which would complete us.
If we don't then we go through another cycle of life, another cycle of searching. Life is a quest for completion by way of finding the Man or Woman who is our lost other half. In our culture we call this completion of self love.
There's a range starting with wooing, suyuan, an old fine Tagalog word that indicates a man's declaration of his love by overt action, verbal or otherwise.
Usually it's non-verbal -- singing, glancing or stealing glances, services -- and indirect. Ligaw, a more modern term, has directness. Ibig connotes desire, wanting, even an impulse to possess the other.
Its highest statement, though, is love of country -- pag-ibig sa tinubuang lupa which carries a hint of self-immolation. Mahal implies valuation, therefore, the other is prized, valued highly. It's root meaning has to do with the monetary cost of goods as in Mahal ang mga bilihin ngayon Goods are costly now. While manuyo from suyo and manligaw are active, they are traditionally a man's action toward a woman. A one-sided wooing, a pursuit of the woman's heart. Ibig and mahal are feelings.
They express the content of the heart that pursues. The words are focused on what the wooer feels for the wooed. There are three words which have become poetic because, I think, they are old expressions. Irog is fondness or affection for another.
When there's a hint of yearning it becomes giliw. When there is reciprocity it becomes sinta. And thus sweethearts or lovers or magkasintahan. And when one introduces the other the term of reference is kasintahan. If it's friendship it's ka-ibig-an; a friendship which has a latent possibility for desire. Kasintahan is closer to affection. Purely physical desire is of another category altogether: The root word nais implies focused desire; focused on an object or objection, that is.
While that which is desirable is kanais-nais, its opposite, di-kanais-nais, is not only not nice but unpleasant. Rooster courtship is also another form of courting in Luzon. In this type of courtship, the rooster is assigned that task of being a " middleman ", a "negotiator", or a "go-between", wherein the male chicken is left to stay in the home of the courted to crow every single morning for the admired lady's family.
At midnight, the suitor goes beneath the nipa huta house that is elevated by bamboo poles, then prickles the admired woman by using a pointed object.
Once the prickling caught the attention of the sleeping lady, the couple would be conversing in whispers.
The house for the Filipino males is called the Ato, while the house for Filipino females is known as the olog or agamang. The males visit the females in the olog — the "betrothal house" — to sing romantic songs. The females reply to these songs also through singing. The ongoing courtship ritual is overseen by a married elder or a childless widow who keeps the parents of the participating males and females well informed of the progress of the courtship process.
A procession, composed of the groom's mother, father, relatives, godfathersgodmothersbridesmaidsand groomsmenoccurs. Their purpose is to bring the cooking ingredients for the celebration to the bride's home, where refreshments await them. When they are in the half process of the courtship, they are forced to make a baby  Pangasinan region[ edit ] In Pangasinanthe Pangasinenses utilizes the taga-amo, which literally means "tamer", a form of love potions or charms which can be rubbed to the skin of the admired.
It can also be in the form of drinkable potions. The suitor may also resort to the use of palabas, meaning show or dramawherein the Filipino woman succumbs to revealing her love to her suitor, who at one time will pretend or act as if he will be committing suicide if the lady does not divulge her true feelings.
This is known as liberal courtship or mahal-alay in the vernacular. This form of courting assists in assessing the woman's feeling for her lover. This is known as the pasaguli.
The purpose of the love riddles is to assess the sentiments of the parents of both suitor and admirer. After this "riddle courtship", the discussion proceeds to the pabalic can also be spelled as pabalikto settle the price or form of the dowry that will be received by the courted woman from the courting man.Filipino Culture Tips!
They also write love letters that are sent via a trusted friend or a relative of the courted woman. Presents are not only given to the woman being courted, but also to her relatives. Similar to the practice in the Pangasinan region, as mentioned above, the Cebuanos also use love potions to win the affection of the Filipino woman. In this form of courting, the Filipino suitor accomplishes household and farm chores for the family of the Filipino woman.
The service normally lasts for approximately a year before the man and woman can get married. The Bicolanos of Luzon's Bicol region, call this custom as the pamianan. Reckless courtship, known in the vernacular as palabas, sarakahan tupul, or magpasumbahi, is practiced by the Tausog people of Mindanao. Similar to the palabas version practiced in Luzon island, a suitor would threaten to stab his heart while in front of the courted woman's father.
If the father of the woman refuses to give his daughter's hand to the suitor, the suitor is smitten by a knife. Accepting the weapon is equivalent to accepting the Filipino man's romantic intention and advances. These formal engagements are arranged by the parents of men and the women. This also involves discussions regarding the price and the form of the dowry. The wedding is officiated by an Imam.
Readings from the Quran is a part of the ceremony, as well as the placement of the groom's fingerprint over the bride's forehead. These are non-verbal cues which Ambeth Ocampo referred to as " fan language". These are called as such because the woman conveys her messages through silent movements that involve a hand-held fan.
Examples of such speechless communication are as follows: