Dating and marriage customs in iran

Iran’s Dating Revolution | SBS Dateline

dating and marriage customs in iran

Arranged marriages are far from the main means through which Iran has caught the Internet dating bug big time and the preferred app du. Food Customs at Ceremonial Occasions. .. Marriage. In Iran women control marriages for their children, and much . Iranian Jews claim to be the oldest continuous Jewish community in the world, dating back to the removal to Babylon . He is just so used to the way of dating in Iran. supposed to not touch each other until official marriage vow (which is different to the main marriage ceremony).

Alcoholic beverages are officially forbidden in Iran today under the Islamic republic, but their consumption is still widely practiced. Armenian, Jewish, and Zoroastrian communities still produce wine, and local moonshine is found everywhere in rural areas. The principal alcoholic beverage is "vodka" distilled from grain, grapes, or more commonly, raisins.

It is consumed almost exclusively by men in the evening or at celebrations such as weddings. Food Customs at Ceremonial Occasions. Ritual foods fall into two categories—foods that are eaten in celebration, and foods that are prepared and consumed as a charitable religious act.

A few foods are traditional for the New Year's celebration. Fish is widely consumed as the first meal of the New Year, along with a polow made with greens. One food appears on the ritual New Year's table, but is rarely eaten. This is a kind of sweet pudding made of ground sprouted wheat called samanou. During the Islamic month of fasting, Ramadan, no food or drink is consumed from sunrise to sunset.

Families rise before dawn to prepare heavy breakfasts that look like the noon meal. The process is repeated at sundown. Special crispy fried sweets made from a yogurt batter and soaked in syrup are frequently served. Two forms are popular: Food is frequently prepared for distribution to the community as a charitable religious act.

dating and marriage customs in iran

When a sheep is slaughtered for a special occasion it is common to give meat to all of one's neighbors. To give thanks for fulfillment of a desire, a community meal is frequently prepared. Likewise, during the mourning ceremonies for Hossein during the months of Muharram and Safar, communal meals are paid for by charitable individuals. The most common food served on these occasions is a polow made with yellow peas and meat. Historically Iran has been an agricultural nation with fairly rich resources both for vegetable crops and animal husbandry.

In the twentieth century, Iran's economy changed in a radical fashion due to the discovery of oil. By the time of the Revolution the nation received more than 80 percent of its income from oil and oil-related industry. While in more than 75 percent of the population lived in rural areas, distribution has reversed. Now more than 75 percent of Iranians live in urban areas, deriving their incomes either from manufacturing or from the service sector currently the largest sector of the economy.

The goals of the Islamic Republic include a drive for self-sufficiency in food and manufacture. At present, however, only about 10 percent of the nation's agricultural land is under cultivation, and subsistence farming is all but dead. Iran remains a net importer of food and manufactured goods, a condition that will not change soon.

Wedding customs in Iran

Inflation is a continual problem. Were it not for oil income, the nation would be in difficult straits. Land Tenure and Property. Absentee landlords in Iran held traditional agricultural land for many hundreds of years. They employed a sharecropping arrangement with their tenant farmers based on a principle of five shares: The farmer rarely supplied more than human and animal labor, and thus received two-fifths of the produce. Additionally landlords hired some agricultural laborers to work land for them for direct wages.

Sharecropping farmers received the land they farmed in the land reform movements of the s and s, but the wage farmers received nothing, and largely abandoned agricultural pursuits. Nomadic tribes claim grazing rights along their route of migration, with the rights parceled out by family affiliation.

Government officials have contested and opposed these rights at various times on environmental grounds overgrazingbut they have not been able marshal effective enforcement. Tribal members also maintain agricultural land both at their summer and winter pasture headquarters. A carpet maker works on a loom at his shop in Na'in. Religious bequest waqf land plays a large role in Iranian life.

Large landowners on their death have willed whole villages as well as other kinds of property to the religious bequest trust. Nearly the entire city of Mashhad is waqf land. Individuals in that city can buy houses and office buildings, but not the land on which they stand. Part of the strategic plan of the Pahlavi rulers was to break the economic power of the clergy who controlled this vast property by nationalizing it, and placing its administration under a government ministry.

This was one of the government actions most vehemently opposed by the clergy before the Revolution. Nevertheless, the waqf is still administered by a government ministry. Iran today has a steel plant, automobile and bus assembly plants, a good infrastructure of roads, a decent telecommunication system, and good broadcast facilities for radio and television. These have all been extended under the Islamic Republic, as has rural electrification. Mining and exploitation of Iran's extensive mineral wealth other than oil is largely moribund.

Moves to privatize industry have been slow; 80 percent of all economic activity is under direct government control. Aside from oil products, the nation's exports include carpets, caviar, cotton, fruits, textiles, minerals, motor vehicles, and nuts.

A small amount of fresh produce and meat is exported to the states of the Persian Gulf. Social Stratification Classes and Castes. Iranian society presents a puzzle for most standard social science analysis of social structure.

On the one hand there is an out-ward appearance of extensive social stratification. When one peers beneath the surface, however, this impression breaks down almost immediately.

In Iran one can never judge a book by its cover. A traditional gentleman in ragged clothes, unshaven, and without any outward trapping of luxury may in fact be very rich, and as powerful as the mightiest government official; or he may be a revered spiritual leader.

On the other hand a well-dressed gentleman in an Italian suit driving a fine European car may be mired in debt and openly derided behind his back. Social mobility is also eminently possible in Iran. Clever youths from poor backgrounds may educate themselves, attach themselves to persons of power and authority, and rise quickly in status and wealth.

Family connections help here, and hypergamy marriage into a higher class for both men and women is very important. High status is precarious in Iran. There is a symbiotic relationship between superior and inferior. Duty is incumbent on the inferior, but the noblesse oblige incumbent on the superior as a condition of maintaining status is often greater, as the last shah, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, discovered in the Revolution.

Nevertheless there are genuinely revered figures in public life. Public respect is largely accorded by diffuse and generalized acclimation, this being a form of status recognition that Iranians trust.

The public has a tendency to dismiss awards, promotions, and public accolades as the result of political or social intriguing. The clerical hierarchy in Shi'a Islam is a good model for genuine advancement in social hierarchy because clerics advance through the informal acknowledgment of their peers.

Iran has made the transition in the last twenty years from a nominal constitutional monarchy to a democratic theocracy. As the United States has checks and balances in its governmental system, so does Iran. There is a strong president elected for a four-year term, and a unicameral legislature majles of members, elected directly by the people, with some slots reserved for recognized minorities.

The position of speaker is politically important, since there is no prime minister. Suffrage is universal, and the voting age is sixteen. Over and above these elected bodies there is a supreme jurisprudent selected by an independent Assembly of Experts—a council of religious judges.

The office of chief jursiprudent faqih was created for Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini at the time of the Revolution. It was designed to implement a controversial philosophy unique to Khomeini's teachings—a "guardianship" to be implemented until the day of return of the twelfth Shi'a Imam, Muhammad al-Mahdi, who is in occultation being hidden from view.

Alongside the chief jurisprudent is a twelve-member Council of Guardians, six selected by the chief jurisprudent, and six by the Supreme Judicial Council ratified by the majles.

dating and marriage customs in iran

The Council of Guardians rules on the Islamic suitability of both elected officials and the laws they pass. They can disqualify candidates for election both before and after they are elected.

Another council mediates between the Council of Guardians and the legislature. All members must be Shi'a Muslim jurisprudents. Islamic Shari'a law is the foundation for the court's decisions. Freedom of the press and assembly are constitutionally guaranteed so long as such activities do not contradict Islamic law. The units of governmental division are the province ostan"county" sharestanand township dehestan.

Each governmental unit has a head appointed by the Ministry of the Interior. Although there is a standing army, navy, and air force, the Revolutionary Guards Pasdaran-e Engelaborganized shortly after the Revolution, dominate military activities, often coming into conflict with the standard military forces.

The Revolutionary Guards either accompany or lead all military activities, both internal and international.

Persian wedding - Wikipedia

A national police force oversees urban areas, and a gendarmerie attends to rural peacekeeping. It is incumbent upon all Muslims to devote a proportion of their excess income to the support of religious and charitable works. This contribution is voluntary, but the government collects this tithe and uses the income to support hospitals, orphanages, and religious schools. The government is also committed to rural development projects. A movement called the "sacred development struggle" jihad-e sazandegi was launched early in the Islamic Republic and was successful in bringing important development projects—electrification, drinking water and roads—to remote rural areas.

There are many small private charitable organizations organized to help the poor, fatherless families, children, and other unfortunate citizens.

The Iranian Red Crescent Society the local version of the Red Cross is active and important in the instance of national disaster. Iran is a net exporter of charity to neighboring countries.

Nongovernmental Organizations and Other Associations There are very few international nongovernmental organizations NGOs operating independent development or health programs in Iran at present, except in conjunction with Iranian governmental organizations.

The current regime views independent NGOs with deep suspicion, and in its aim for self-sufficiency views the work of many international charities as unnecessary. The United Nations UN is the one important exception. Iran has supported the UN since its inception, and a number of UN programs in health, development, population, and the preservation of cultural antiquities are active.

The nation's Mostazafin "downtrodden people" Foundation and the Imam Khomeini Foundation have operated in the international sphere. The question of gender roles is one of the most complex issues in contemporary Iranian society.

Women have always had a strong role in Iranian life, but rarely a public role. Their prominent participation in political movements has been especially noteworthy. Brave and often ruthlessly pragmatic, women are more than willing to take to the streets for a good public cause. Moreover, although the world focuses increasingly on the question of female dress as an indicator of progress for women in Iran and indeed, in the Islamic world altogetherthis is a superficial view.

In the years since the Revolution, women have made astonishing progress in nearly every area of life. Both the Pahlavi regime and the leaders of the Islamic Republic have gone out of their way to emphasize their willingness to have women operate as full participants in government and public affairs. Women have served in the legislature and as government ministers since the s. The average marriage age for women has increased to twenty-one years. Iran's birthrate has fallen steadily since before the Revolution, now standing at an estimated 2.

Education for women is obligatory and universal, and education for girls has increased steadily. The literacy rate for women is close to that of men, and for women under 25 it is over 90 percent, even in rural areas. Female employment is the one area where women have suffered a decline since the Revolution. Even under the current Islamic regime, virtually all professions are theoretically open to women—with an important caveat. The difficulty for the leaders of the Islamic republic in allowing women complete equality in employment and public activity revolves around religious questions of female modesty that run head-to-head with the exigencies of public life.

Islam requires that both women and men adopt modest dress that does not inflame carnal desire. For men this means eschewing tight pants, shorts, short-sleeved shirts, and open collars.

Iranians view women's hair as erotic, and so covering both the hair and the female form are the basic requirements of modesty. For many centuries women in Iran have done this by wearing the chador, a semicircular piece of dark cloth that is wrapped expertly around the body and head, and gathered at the chin.

This garment is both wonderfully convenient, since it affords a degree of privacy, and lets one wear virtually anything underneath; and restricting, since it must be held shut with one hand.

dating and marriage customs in iran

Makeup of any kind is not allowed. In private, women dress as they please, and often exhibit fashionable, even daring, clothing for their female friends and spouses.

Any public activity that would require women to depart from this modest dress in mixed company is expressly forbidden. Professions requiring physical exertion outdoors are excluded, as are most public entertainment roles.

Interestingly, film and television are open to women provided they observe modest dress standards. This has created an odd separate-but-equal philosophy in Iranian life. Westernized Iranian women have long viewed obligatory modest dress in whatever forms as oppressive, and have worked to have standards relaxed.

These standards certainly have been oppressive when forced on the female population in an obsessive manner. Revolutionary Guards have mutilated some women for showing too much hair or for wearing lipstick. But the majority of women in Iran have always adopted modest dress voluntarily, and will undoubtedly continue to do so in the future no matter what political decisions are made on this matter.

The emotional roles of Iranian men and women are different from those in the United States and many other Western countries.

In particular, it is considered manly for men to be emotionally sensitive, artistically engaged, and aesthetically acute.

Iran’s Dating Revolution

Women, by contrast, can be emotionally distant and detached without seeming unfeminine. Open weeping is not shameful for either sex. Both sexes can be excessively tender and doting toward their same-sex friends with no intention of eroticism.

Kissing and hand-holding between members of the same sex is common. By contrast, physical contact between members of the opposite sex is assiduously avoided except between relatives.

Western men offering to shake a traditional Iranian woman's hand may see her struggling between a desire to be polite, and a desire not to breech standards of decency. The solution for many a woman is to cover her hand with part of her chador and shake hands that way. Under no circumstances should a proper man or woman willingly find themselves alone in a closed room with a member of the opposite sex except for his or her spouse. Marriage, Family, and Kinship Marriage.

In Iran women control marriages for their children, and much intrigue in domestic life revolves around marital matters. A mother is typically on the lookout for good marriage prospects at all times. Even if a mother is diffident about marriage brokering, she is obliged to "clear the path" for a marriage proposal.

She does this by letting her counterpart in the other family know that a proposal is forthcoming, or would be welcome. She then must confer with her husband, who makes the formal proposal in a social meeting between the two families. It is therefore extremely important that the families be certain that they are compatible before the marriage takes place.

Marriage within the family is a common strategy, and a young man of marriageable age has an absolute right of first refusal for his father's brother's daughter—his patrilateral parallel cousin. The advantages for the families in this kind of marriage are great. They already know each other and are tied into the same social networks.

Moreover, such a marriage serves to consolidate wealth from the grandparents' generation for the family. Matrilateral cross-cousin marriages are also common, and exceed parallel-cousin marriages in urban areas, due perhaps to the wife's stronger influence in family affairs in cities. Although inbreeding would seem to be a potential problem, the historical preference for marriage within the family continues, waning somewhat in urban settings where other considerations such as profession and education play a role in the choice of a spouse.

In25 percent of urban marriages, 31 percent of rural marriages, and 51 percent of tribal marriages were reported as endogamous.

10+ Surprising Facts About Iran

These percentages appear to have increased somewhat following the Revolution. In Iran today a love match with someone outside of the family is clearly not at all impossible, but even in such cases, except in the most westernized families, the family visitation and negotiation must be observed.

Traditional marriages involve a formal contract drawn up by a cleric. In the contract a series of payments are specified. The bride brings a dowry to the marriage usually consisting of household goods and her own clothing.

A specified amount is written into the contract as payment for the woman in the event of divorce. The wife after marriage belongs to her husband's household and may have difficulty visiting her relatives if her husband does not approve. Nevertheless, she retains her own name, and may hold property in her own right, separate from her husband. The wedding celebration is held after the signing of the contract. It is really a prelude to the consummation of the marriage, which takes place typically at the end of the evening, or, in rural areas, at the end of several days' celebration.

In many areas of Iran it is still important that the bride be virginal, and the bedsheets are carefully inspected to ensure this. A wise mother gives her daughter a vial of chicken blood "just in case. This is more common in rural than in urban areas. Iran is an Islamic nation, and polygyny is allowed. It is not widely practiced, however, because Iranian officials in this century have followed the Islamic prescription that a man taking two wives must treat them with absolute equality.

Women in polygynous marriages hold their husbands to this and will seek legal relief if they feel they are disadvantaged. Statistics are difficult to ascertain, but one recent study claims that only 1 percent of all marriages are polygynous. Divorce is less common in Iran than in the West. Families prefer to stay together even under difficult circumstances, since it is extremely difficult to disentangle the close network of interrelationships between the two extended families of the marriage pair.

One recent study claims that the divorce rate is 10 percent in Iran. For Iranians moving to the United States the rate is 66 percent, suggesting that cultural forces tend to keep couples from separating.

Children of a marriage belong to the father. After a divorce, men assume custody of boys over three years and girls over seven. Women have been known to renounce their divorce payment in exchange for custody of their children. There is no impediment to remarriage with another partner for either men or women.

In traditional Iranian rural society the "dinner cloth" often defines the minimal family. Many branches of an extended family may live in rooms in the same compound. However, they may not all eat together on a daily basis. Sons and their wives and children are often working for their parents in anticipation of a birthright in the form of land or animals. When they receive this, they will leave and form their own separate household. In the meantime they live in their parents' compound, but have separate eating and sleeping arrangements.

Even after they leave their parents' home, members of extended families have widespread rights to hospitality in the homes of even their most distant relations. Indeed, family members generally carry out most of their socializing with each other. Inheritance generally follows rules prescribed by Islamic law. Male children inherit full shares of their father's estate, wives and daughters half-shares. An individual may make a religious bequest of specific goods or property that are then administered by the ministry of waqfs.

The patriarch is the oldest male of the family. He demands respect from other family members and often has a strong role in the future of young relatives. In particular it is common for members of an extended family to spread themselves out in terms of professions and influence.

Some will go into government, others into the military, perhaps others join the clergy, and some may even become anti-government oppositionists. Families will attempt to marry their children into powerful families as much for their own sake as for the son or daughter. The general aim for the family is to extend its influence into as many spheres as possible.

As younger members mature, older members of the family are expected to help them with jobs, introductions, and financial support. This is not considered corrupt or nepotistic, but is seen rather as one of the benefits of family membership. The role of the mother is extremely important in Iran.

Mothers are expected to breast-feed their babies for fear the babies will become "remorseless. Mothers and children are expected to be mutually supportive. A mother will protect her children's reputation under all circumstances. Small children are indulged, and not just by their parents. They are magnets for attention from everyone in the society.

Some parents worry about their children becoming vain and spoiled, but have a difficult time denying their wishes. Older children often raise younger children, especially in rural settings.

It is very common to see an older child with full responsibility for care of a toddler. Children are usually more than up to this task, and develop strong bonds with their siblings. There is some rivalry between children in a family, but the rule of primogeniture is strong, and older children have the right to discipline younger children.

The father is the disciplinarian of the family. Whereas most fathers dote on their small children, they can become fierce and stern as children approach puberty.

It is the father's responsibility to protect the honor of the family, and this means keeping close watch on the women and their activities. A girl is literally a treasure for the family.

If she remains chaste, virginal, modest, and has other attributes such as beauty and education she has an excellent chance of making a marriage that will benefit everyone. If she falls short of this ideal, she can ruin not only her own life, but also the reputation of her family.

Boys are far more indulged than girls. Their father teaches them very early, however, that the protection of family honor also resides with them. It is not unusual to see a small boy upbraiding his own mother for some act that shows a lack of modesty.

This is the beginning of a life long enculturation that emphasizes self-denial, collectivism, and interdependence with regard to the family. Families place a very strong emphasis on education for both boys and girls.

For girls this is a more modern attitude, but it was always true for boys. The education system relies a great deal on rote memorization, patterned as it is on the French education system.

Children are also strongly encouraged in the arts. They write poetry and learn music, painting, and calligraphy, often pursuing these skills privately. All Iranians would like their children to pursue higher education, and competition for university entrance is fierce. The most desired professions for children are medicine and engineering.

This may be held as early as a year before the wedding itself, in order to allow time for all the wedding arrangements to be made. Eating sweet food stuffs at celebratory events such as an engagement ceremony carry symbolism such as wishing for sweetness in the couple's life in general. Men from the groom's family dressed up in festive costumes carry the presents on elaborately decorated large flat containers carried on their heads.

  • Persian wedding

The containers are called tabagh Persian: Although this tradition might be practice in small towns and villages but in cities, such as Tehran, means of transportation is used deliver the gifts to the bride.

The wedding ceremony[ edit ] Iranian Sofreh Aghd[ edit ] Sofreh Aghd Table of Wedding [ edit ] The sofreh aghd is a traditional wedding ceremony spread where legal marriage and ceremonial tradition is exchanged.

The ceremonial tradition has been practiced for thousands of years, and sofreh aghd spread is customary at Persian weddings.

IRNA - Wedding customs in Iran

Like most ethnicies, Iranians have diverse religious backgrounds and the sofreh aghd is a chosen cultural ceremony commonly practiced regardless of faith. There are many symbolic items which make up the sofreh aghd spread, all of which represent an element of the couple's new life together.

Every sofreh aghd design has traditional must-haves; however, based on the taste and budget of the couple, some sofreh designs are more elaborate and intricate than others, while others are more simple and understated.

Below is a visual guideline and list of some of the traditional items that make up the sofreh aghd: Ayeneh Mirror Represents bringing light and brightness into the future for the married couple. Traditionally, the couple look into the mirror together. Khoncheh Assortment of seven symbolic herbs and spices An assortment of herbs and spices are placed on the spread to guard against the evil eye.

The seven herbs and spices include: Tokmeh Morgh Eggs Represent fertility for the couple. Meeveh Seasonal fruits Usually pomegranates and apples. They represent a joyous future. Shahkheh Nabat Rock candy Prettified to symbolize a sweetened life for the newlyweds.

Sekkeh Coins Are place on the sofreh spread to represent wealth and prosperity for the couple. Asal Honey Consumed right as the ceremony is going to conclude. The bride and groom exchange hands usually with the small finger dipped in the honey and shared off the hand to represent sweetness for the couple's life.

Golab Rose water Is used to perfume the air. The book is usually opened from the middle and placed on the spread in front of the couple as a symbol of faith. Shirini Sweets and pastries Are placed on the sofreh aghd and are to be shared with the guests after the ceremony concludes. Shirini symbolizes the sweetness of life. This situation mostly occurs when parents have traditional thoughts but the children do not want to follow what they parents tell.

Such families are really difficult to interact with as they are in a transient state and even do not know how they should treat. The boys and girls in such families are the biggest victims in many situations especially for having serious relationships, dating, falling in love, and getting married.

In these families, the way that boys and girls start dating or have relationships before the marriage is exactly similar to the boys and girls belonged to the modern families with one big difference and this difference is that usually one or both parents are not aware of these relationships. Further, concealing these relationships is not the only problem in these families. Another problem rises when the families decide to force their children to marry in a traditional way while these boys and girls have their own relationships and want to get marry in a different way with different person.

How Iranians get married? After that the couple falls in love and decides to get married, they should celebrate their marriage ceremony. We have two steps for this ceremony.

In this ceremony the guests should give their gifts to the couple which usually are really worth a fortune. During this ceremony, the guests and the couple dance together and have a lot of fun and usually the ceremony end up with a dinner. The second step is marriage ceremony.