Youth Talk: What does the Bible say about DATING? | BLOG OF DAN
You are to use your body in a way that pleases God, showing But the Bible says that there is a right way to date and a wrong way to date. Jesus says that the right way is with the aim of marriage and with absolute purity. 2. Looking for a completely countercultural path to marriage? Here's how to apply God's Word to dating, finding a spouse and My point is that we cannot simply state that the Bible “doesn't mention dating or courtship,” and then. This lesson brings some biblical sanity to this question. God's word gives us criteria for dating and marriage, although singleness is also a calling. in the wrong way (e.g. David and Bathsheba and Samson and Delilah).
That was the culture then, as it still is in some parts of the world. In fact, Jesus lays down a number of principles that can be applied to the issue of dating, and what I want us to see is that: It depends on how it is done, when it is done, and with whom it is done.
So here are three things for Christian young people to remember about dating. It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. The Bible is clear that the reason for starting a special kind of friendship with someone is for the purpose of marriage. It also says that when you are dating someone, you are to show purity and not take advantage of them.Godly Lesson in Dating and Courtship
Can you see how this is different from what your friends, the TV, movies would say about dating? The message given by the world about dating is that: It will make you feel good. But the Bible says that there is a right way to date and a wrong way to date.
Dating can be a good thing if done in the right way. Jesus says that the right way is with the aim of marriage and with absolute purity. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. They are not to be done before the proper time. Breaking up a romantic relationship is always painful, but if the couple has been involved sexually, the breaking up is ten times worse.
You have each given yourself in the most intimate way to the other person. You have given away a part of yourself and you can never get it back. Dating can produce animosities. Over a period of time, jealousies and animosities can develop between guys and girls and their former partners and their new attachments.
Dating can bring a lot of "baggage" into a marriage. You may think you can play around and be promiscuous when you are single and leave it behind when you get married. That is wrong thinking. Dating can create an artificial relationship. Each person is trying very hard to impress the other person. A couple can go together for years without really knowing each other.
They get married and sooner or later discover the real person they married. At the right time God stirs up their interest in the opposite sex. The big question then becomes: How will I find the one God has in mind for me? While there can be some benefits from dating, it is based on the wrong motive—getting instead of giving.
It has the wrong goal—go as far as you can. And it can produce wrong results—broken hearts and damaged emotions. Each time, as the pain caused from the last relationship fades into the background, the guy and girl develop a new romance with a different partner. The whole scenario of getting deeply involved romantically, breaking up, and doing the same thing over and over again becomes a dress rehearsal for divorce. Is there a better way?
Courtship is a relationship in which both guy and girl have the same long-term purpose in view. The requirement for courtship involves a commitment on the part of both guy and girl to certain guidelines: A "one man, one woman" commitment.
A restraint of affections. Lust is a getting proposition and it demands immediate satisfaction. Real love will wait for the right time and right circumstances.
It is not unusual for two committed Christians to agree to refrain from all physical contact beyond holding hands until marriage. Some of the happiest married couples can testify to the fact that their first kiss was at the marriage altar! Respect for parents on both sides. In a God-ordained courtship, there should be the approval of the parents on both sides. If one or both sets of parents disapprove of the relationship, that is a danger signal which should not be ignored.
A successful marriage involves serious preparation on the part of both the guy and girl. Financial freedom is a necessity in a happy marriage. The couple should seriously consider a budget. You may be madly in love with each other, but if you do not have a good education and financial freedom, you may not be ready for courtship.
Ideally, both husband and wife should be committed Christians who love the Lord Jesus with all their hearts. There will be serious problems if one partner is a fully-committed Christian and the other is complacent about the things of God. Under no circumstances should a born-again Christian marry an unbeliever. The Rewards of Courtship Courtship brings a new freedom in relationships with the opposite sex.
You are focused on one person and not wondering about every guy or girl you meet. It avoids envy and jealousy. Courtship promotes self-control and moral purity. It promotes responsibility—you are seriously planning and preparing for life. What does God say?
God delights in the happiness of His children. Every command of God is an expression of His love and His desire that we enjoy the best He has in mind for us. Let us see what God says about sexual matters. Fornication Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married is called fornication.
- Lesson 7: Dating—the Benefits and Dangers
- Lesson: What Does the Bible Say About Dating? (Tough Questions Kids Ask #8)
- 3 Things True Love Is
God hates this sin because it destroys the beautiful plan that God has in mind for you. For you are bought with a price: In business, defrauding is cheating—leading someone to expect certain benefits which you know are false.
Youth Devotion - 4 Things True Love Is | Student Devos - Youth & Teenage Devotions
When a guy professes to love a girl and talks about their getting married some day in order to entice her to have sex with him, that is defrauding. This means God will punish those who commit this sin. A good rule for guys and girls is this: Do not give or take that which may some day rightfully belong to another person. With these vows they should pledge to their parents before God they will not give their bodies over unless they are married to the other person.
Courtship Although the Bible does not lay out specifics regarding courtship, since some of the biblical marriages were arranged by families for example, the Old Testament patriarch Isaac and his wife Rebecca were brought together supernaturally by God with the order of Abrahamwhen we piece together all the principles of Scripture we have a good plan for courtship. Courtship based on the biblical model of love, romance, sacrifice, dignity, and covenant implies the following about how two people could begin a process that may eventually lead to marriage: Pre-Courtship Stage A person should not even begin to look for a mate unless they are adequately prepared for the responsibilities of marriage and family, and are themselves emotionally healthy and spiritually mature When two emotionally needy people get together in marriage it is usually a disaster.
Go on group dates to get to know the other person or work with them in some meaningful innocuous way. This will enable the development of a deep friendship to help discern the will of God before beginning the process of committing to each other more formally. Part of discerning the will of God is judging whether or not the other person meets the biblical criteria and qualifications of being a good mate, being able to raise children, and being a family leader.
Attraction should never be only physical. Based on 1 Thessalonians 5: That is to say, a person needs to meet the criteria in each of these three areas.
For example, it is a huge mistake to marry a person because they are strong spiritually when not attracted to them physically. Or, it is a mistake to marry a person for their personality when their spiritual life is a mess, etc. Courtship Stage Two people who have confirmed it is the will of God for them to be together should begin a process of spending time together.
They should make a covenant together before God involving strict guidelines for not having physical contact or being alone where they can fall into sexual sin, and walking in the light and having open communication with one another. At some point, the man should formerly ask the woman's father, parent, or relevant guardian for permission to marry the woman before he officially proposes to her.
Dating—the Benefits and Dangers—Lesson 7 in Understanding True Love series
Both families should get to know each other since marriage also unites two families, not just two people. Money should be set aside during the engagement, and jobs and education should be already secured. This is so the focus of the first few years of marriage is on building the relationship rather than on the distractions that come from financial stress, education, and other things that can destroy a relationship.
Monies should be channeled for life together more than on the one-time wedding ceremony. If you don't have the money, be simple and modest with excellence on your wedding day. Don't overdo it and go into huge debt!
Invest in your marriage, not in your wedding day! Practical and Biblical Understanding of Courtship Courtship and dating are some of the least discussed topics in the church. During the courtship Bible studies should be done together on the role of husbands and wives, and the purpose of children Genesis 1: The book of Proverbs should be studied frequently together for practical wisdom and prudence in relationships and business.
Couples should especially study biblical love as found in 1 Corinthians 13 and understand that it is the commitment that arises out of covenant that will sustain their marriage—not merely the feeling of love.